A New Knowledge of Kinship

Never in my wildest imagination did I ever "think" this is what my life would look like today. We all say that, right; but, really. Who ever lives day-to-day in your homeland, the country of origin that God has chosen for you, in the time He has chosen for you - and realizes years before it happens that your own life will be so intertwined and connected with another family on the other side of the world? I mean, I guess one can have those college-kid aspirations of going abroad; working on a fishing vessel off the coast of Scandinavia, or being a tutor for a family in France. Maybe even "growing up" and knowing there is a mission waiting for you in an impoverished and God-hungry third world country. I don't mean to nullify or devalue these dreams and real callings and visions in any way. However, this adoption thing. Well, it just gets bigger and wilder every day, and I'm certainly not one of the few (because there are some) who grew up just knowing I would adopt one day. I had no idea this was coming!

We received the long-awaited email this past Monday. The one that I would wake up at 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning for. Pretty much every day...night? Whatever. Picking up my phone and scrolling through my mailbox just praying that the email from across the Atlantic, and another continent - and 10 hours ago would be there. This mama wanted to see those words so badly! "Your adoption case has been submitted to the US Embassy in Ethiopia". Sweet, sweet words. What joy it was to see that! But, the ride isn't over yet. Only our oldest, Simon's, name was on the case title. As it turns out, our baby, Elijah, is still not submitted. The Embassy is still waiting on "medical" results before he can be submitted. What kind of results? I don't know. When will they be ready to submit his papers? I don't know. Will they process both of our sons at the same time, or wait until Eli's papers are complete and process them together? I don't know. When do we get scheduled for our visa interview? I don't know. When do we get to pick up our sons and bring them home? I DON'T KNOW! I don't know! Do you have any idea how that feels? I have children on the other side of the world and I can't put a band aid on their ow-ees. I can't cut a pb&j sandwich in quarters for them and make sure they have milk to go with their lunch. I can't watch them play catch with their daddy from the kitchen window. I can't wipe their tears, read them a story, kiss them goodnight... I can't even stop the attachment and love from growing each day so that the hurt of not having them here can go away, or at least ease off. There is no such thing. They are simply my kids and I'm supposed to be with them. Yet, as I continue to learn to release the heartache to God and trust in His perfect timing, He continues to help me see His plans and reasons for this amazing journey and family He has for us.

Here is what God brought me to today. Intense love and sorrow for a family in Ethiopia who I now understand are part of my family. My boys have been in an orphanage since December of 2011. Probably on or just days after Simon's birthday. Why? Because they, along with their father and sister, had to watch their mother be sick and die from a virus that she wasn't able to be treated for. They buried her in a protestant cemetery, and then my sons' father, knowing he was ill with the same virus, decided the best thing for his sons was to leave them in an orphanage; not even two months after his wife died; probably in his arms. The grief that brings me to is more than I can explain. Do I "know" these people? As of today, I feel that I do. God has brought them into my life. Into our family's life, and He truly has given me such a love for them, that not only do I grieve for my sons, who in their less than a dozen years of life put together have experienced more hurt and loss than most people would experience in their whole lives. But, I love their biological father. I love their biological mother and pray I see her in the sweet by and by. I love their extended family, all of whom have admitted to not having the means or ability to raise my little boys in a healthy and nurturing life. My heart hurts for each of them. Huge hurt.

I am seriously yearning for the opportunity to meet my sons' bio dad when we go back to Ethiopia to bring the boys home. Our desire is to meet as many of their kin as possible. We want to love on them, pray for them, share a meal with them, assure them that they made the best decision and that we love the boys and will take care of them always. That we are all kin now. That our hearts are overflowing with joy and awe at how God has written this story.

We still wait and rest in the Lord. Today was a day of new mercies, new beginnings, and another set of blinders completely removed and replaced with the heart of God. How much does He love us? What does that look like? It looks like this - my sons' first father walked into that orphanage and surrendered them there because he knew his days were numbered and he couldn't provide for them anymore. Even more, real love is this: my Savior, Jesus, stumbling down the Via de la Rosa on His way to the cross where He willingly opened His arms and surrendered His life for us, so that His Father in Heaven would be pleased and so His name would be exalted. See, here it is... "you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” Romans 8:15

Patty's Adoption Travel Journal - Trip One

Monday, June 10, 2013

I don't even know where to begin this evening. My hand is trembling as I write. Jet lag stinks. Anxiety stinks. Sleep deprivation stinks. There are so many thoughts, emotions, words, ideas, prayers running through my mind and heart. Most importantly, through all the stink and rising above it, God has amazingly confirmed this journey for us... again. Praise Him on high!

Yesterday was a glorious day and a dark, lonely day all at the same time. It was glorious and joyful because we met our two youngest sons and realized the incredible gifts they are to us. It was a tough day because we experienced the lies, deceit, discouragement and ugliness of the enemy like never before.

The anticipation of waiting for our first meeting with the boys took so much physical and mental energy. Add that to being exhausted from flying and being sleep deprived and you end up with two very volatile and impressionable souls. Yes, I mean me and Paul! We were already tapped when we snuggled our little guys for the first time. AND THEN... All youthful mischief, energy, curiosity, excitement, and spunk poured out of our baby boy! He is truly a wild child! I say this with overflowing love and amazement at the spirit our youngest displays! Understand, however, that the reality we faced included a deeper knowledge of how our lives and family are changing... forever.

Visiting hours at the foster home are from 10 to 12 and again from 3 to 5. Sunday morning, following approximately 20 hours in flight and 4 or so hours of sleep in an unfamiliar country, I spent two hours literally chasing my four year old around as he climbed on every piece of furniture in sight, nearly pulled two sets of shelving down on top of himself and others, threw toys and other items around the small room, and brought the excited, confused, hysterically funny little boy to life - in rare form - right in front of Mommy's and Daddy's eyes! Wow. Did we say we were prepared for all of this?

God has already given us some vision about our two newest sons. Our agency is wonderful and they send us updates weekly with pictures of our children. As we gazed at our two pumpkins each week, we felt we were getting a picture of their personalities; "who" they are, and that God was truly preparing us for our boys. In our oldest of the two we saw a gentle, nurturing, compassionate little one who reminded us a lot of his big brother, Tyler. In our four-year-old, we saw mischief in those big, brown, beautiful eyes! We said out loud, "This little guy is going to give us a run for our money!" God was getting our hearts and our home ready for our boys!

So, why was the day laced with doom and gloom? Because the enemy was busy at work planting lies and accusations in our hearts and minds. Yuck. He is the prince of lies and he kept saying things to us like, "You're too old to start this all over again. You can't handle it. You'll never be able to communicate with these boys OR discipline them. Why should you give up your peaceful times alone? Your time with your two oldest children? Your date nights? Your ministry needs? Your coffee dates with friends? Your... (fill in the blank)!" Ugh.

A dark, thick cloud of concern and doubt crept over me. Until I realized just what in this world was going on. As I prayed and sought the Lord desperately, I began to ask Him if I had misunderstood this calling. I began to ask Him I had been disobedient, and if so, that He would shed light and let us know which way to turn. Should we go to the right or to the left? I reached out to close friends and family and asked for prayer; feeling that we needed our brothers and sisters to intercede and surround us with love. In the middle of the night, Paul and I woke up at the same time to the realization of what was going on. Satan was trying to snag our boys from us, and from Jesus! What a wicked creature. But God is bigger and better, and sovereign. He again spoke to us about His plans for our family. And it is always His plans that reign supreme.

A peace that truthfully surpasses any understanding washed over us. We received a profound email from our daughter and felt completely "schooled" in faith. We prayed and agreed that we loved our sons. They were coming home with us and no matter what challenges we face, we won't be alone. The answer was simple. Don't turn to the right OR the left! Stay on the straight and narrow path I have laid for you, and I will be with you. Aaahhhh... the peace of God and His promises.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013 - COURT DAY!

This is it. We've been reminded several times that this adoption is "irrevocable". No returns. No exchanges. Done deal! Well, let's get to it, already! :-)

What an amazing day. We saw our boys in the morning during visiting hours. We came back to the guest home for lunch, but for one reason or another, it's been difficult to eat a complete meal (all of which are amazingly delicious, generous, and prepared with much love!). Today, the reason was, we just wanted to get in front of that judge and say "YES!".

Eshetu, our precious driver and new friend, took the Bonds and us to the courthouse right after lunch, as our appointment was at 1:30. Ranell and I were pretty giddy heading over. There is something about "going to court" that encourages butterflies in the tummy. The room itself was pretty sterile and it filled quickly with many couples waiting for their "yes" moment in front of the judge. Our nervousness was loudly apparent as we made quirky comments and asked questions that we really should've known the answers to, such as, what orphanage our children came from. Eshetu laughed til the tears flowed when Paul said, "Should we know?" It's a good thing the question came up because that is how we are called in to see the judge; by our children's orphanage names! Aiyaiyai!

As promised, we were one of the first couples (the third) to enter the small room where the beautiful, young judge sat behind her desk, heaped with files and papers. Her voice was calm and peaceful and her smile genuine and kind. When she asked us if we enjoyed our time with the boys we answered with an imperative yes and she looked down on the papers on her desk; our file a mile thick spread out before her. Then she said, with a beaming smile on her face how delightful and fun they look in their pictures! I thought to myself, why, Yes. They already radiate the joy of the Lord!

Then it was done. It was finished. It was accomplished. The boys were legally declared ours! Hallelujah! God has done great things for us! How profound it was as we went straight to the foster home to tell our two youngest children they were officially Gregersens! I ponder now the words of Mary, the mother of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ...

"My soul magnifies Adonai,
and my spirit rejoices in God, my Savior,
Indeed His name is holy, and in
every generation
He has mercy on those who fear Him."
Luke 1:46,47,50

Loving that we shared this precious time with two special families; now special friends - Jeff and Liza Ford & David and Ranell Bond. Love you guys forever!
 

Worth it All

The sun making it's glorious appearance as we headed to Phoenix Sky Harbor this morning.

Friday, June 7, 2013

We're on a plane! I've said this before and I'll say it again. The simple fact that I'm "OK" getting on a plane is a miracle itself! If this were about me and my desires, I would have to find a way to do adoption without flying across the world. But this adoption isn't about me or Paul or anyone other than God. It's ALL about Him and His heart and His purpose. And geez has He stirred up my heart in the process!

A precious friend of mine texted this to me as we waited at check in for our first flight...

From of old no one has heard
or perceived by the ear.
No eye has seen a God besides You
who acts for those who wait for Him.
You meet him who joyfully works righteousness,
those who remember You
in Your ways.
                               Isaiah 64:4,5

Saturday, June 8, 2013

We just boarded the last of three flights and now feeling anxious - in a good way - to arrive in Addis and be closer to seeing our boys. This is all very surreal... and very God. I've had every opportunity to remember my faith and God's faithfulness to His children. Get this. Since boarding in Phoenix we've experienced...
1. Three planes; not one or even two, but THREE with what I would call "cause for concern". The first two planes had internal power source failure and the third had push drive mechanical failure. Three for three! Really?!?! All this when I haven't flown in 18 years and have been praying desperately for God to give me peace and comfort. He truly did. I guess He figured I may as well test it out!
2. A significant delay leaving Phoenix with our shortest connection time ahead of us in Atlanta.
3. MUCH turbulence (we flew over Oklahoma City, just to give you an idea) on the flight from PHX to ATL.
4. What felt like 3 miles of walking in circles at the Frankfurt airport.
5. The wrong gate assignment on our boarding passes in Frankfurt.
6. Not to mention NO Wifi at the FRA airport!


Nothing like up close and personal!

Flying over Frankfurt

 

Soon we'll be in the beautiful country of Ethiopia - after another 6 hours in the air.  God is good! Even through all this, we feel His peace and guidance.

Still Saturday...

I found myself in tears as Desfayu drove us from the Addis Ababa airport to the guest home we're staying in. I'm in awe... completely. God brought us safely to the other side of the world and in less than 12 hours we will be with our two youngest children! Incredible!

I'm feeling so many different things; desperately missing my kiddos at home, beyond thrilled to meet our two youngest, out of place in a country so far and different from our own, filled with awe about God and His plans...

So, I'm officially and thoroughly overwhelmed. It's 11:23 p.m. here in Addis. I'm exhausted but don't want to go to sleep in case we "miss" something. Nope! Don't wanna miss a thing!

Faith of a Child...

Rhyan's sweet friend, Gabrielle wrote this poem.

She is 13, and as you can see, is a very gifted writer.

What a blessing to know our children are surrounded by godly, precious friends.

I'm in awe of how many hearts God is preparing to receive our boys.

These words brought me to tears...

 



Better is one day in His courts...

This was the first picture we saw of the boys.
Can't wait 'til we can show you their beautiful eyes and smiles!

 

We were informed that "Family Court" for our boys has been scheduled for May 22nd. This is when any living relatives would appear before a judge to verify the relinquishment/abandonment of the boys. Now, this is all still a learning experience for us, but as far as I know, this date would not be scheduled if we were facing serious roadblocks. Of course, all legal technicalities must be carried out.

 

Things are VERY different in Africa, and record keeping there is not at all what it is here. It's not atypical to see a handwritten note taped to a concrete wall announcing court dates, postponements, etc. Email? Stamped and authenticated? Sure... You can ask a village mom when her baby was born and you'd be lucky with a thoughtful answer of, "When the rains came." Huh? Then remember that we aren't even following the same calendar. Sheesh. If we know anything about our boys' history and biological family, it'll be amazing. What we do know and believe is that they are our children through God's work and will. We're super-excited to be part of their story now!

 

Our coordinator told me that typically the adoptive parents are scheduled for court around a month after family court. That means we are preparing to travel sometime around late June. :) We will appear in court and legally adopt our boys! Then, we'll have to come home without them :( and wait for their passports and visas to be complete so we can clear Embassy. Then we'll get to bring them home! Alleluia!

 

Please pray that family court goes smoothly and that our court date is scheduled as expected. Also, pray that God will continue to provide the funds, favor, patience, and encouragement He has heaped upon us already! I'm reminded, Better is one day in His courts than thousands elsewhere. Psalm 84:10

 

It's all so surreal. To be excited for a transatlantic flight - actually four of those doozies... That is God and only God! All for His glory. Can't wait to see my babies!

 

Love,

Patty

Here is where the world of adoption has taken us. I have a friend in Homeland Security!

 

We are STILL waiting for a court date in ET. Sigh... How long, Lord? Yes, I know. As long as You say. Your plans are perfect.

 

So, now we find ourselves more than two years into the process of adoption and we have important papers ready to expire. We need an updated home study. Oh, yeah. Again. $400. We need an updated I171H. United States Citizenship and Immigration Services  (USCIS) must have on file a "provisional approval" to file an I600A. The I171H is the provisional approval which gets filed so the I600A - orphan petition - can be approved and filed. I just thought you might want a glimpse into what all this paperwork is. Thank you Ms. "J" at the National Benefits Center of Homeland Security! You saved the day when you told me I can scan our papers straight to you! We have to be fingerprinted and processed by May 28 and I realized that the end of May is just a month away.

 

Time seems to crawl when you are separated from your children.

 

We are asking for continued prayers:

That our boys are nourished, nurtured, and protected while they wait. They have seen pictures of us and know that we are waiting to bring them home.

That we remain patient and continue to trust in God who has this all worked out already - in His perfect timing.

That we aren't discouraged or beat down by questions, doubts, negativity, costs, etc.

That God's favor is on our paperwork and requests for updates and appointments.

 

 

At the end of the day, not a moment has gone by that I'm not extremely humbled, grateful, and giddy-excited about how God is growing our family and what He is teaching us about orphans and adoption. This is an adventure, and sometimes difficult and chaotic journey. I can honestly say it's the best "thing" God has done in and for us! Not just the adoption of our boys. I'm talking about His adoption of US! Yes. Adoption ROCKS.

 

Easter... New Life, New Sons!

Aaaahhhh... The colors of Spring. The colors of Easter! I LOVE Easter. I love the vibrant colors and the refreshing outdoor breeze of the season, and the time with family and friends in celebration. Most of all, I love what we celebrate. We remember Christ on the cross and Christ absent from the tomb and alive once again! His body made new and perfect as He takes His rightful place at the right hand of the Father. Alleluia! I love that all the pain, sorrow, agony, and darkness of the torture, spilled blood, and excruciating death Jesus experienced for us is not what we're left with as we break bread together on Easter Sunday; but fervently we remember with joy His resurrection and the new life He gave us. It's this gift of new life I like to set my mind and heart on, especially when I want to break down in sobs when I think of Yeshuah's sacrifice. The price has been paid! We are debt free and will make it home to our Father with a new body and a new, eternal life!

One of the more beautiful displays of color during the holiday is beheld in the rainbows of eggs dyed and decorated by young and "mature" alike. :) I know some Christians choose not to do the whole egg-dye thing, but we do, and we still like to display them, too. Historically, eggs have been seen as a symbol of winter passing and spring and life reemerging from what seemed to be death. In Jewish tradition, hardboiled eggs are eaten when mourning the death of a loved one. They are served during Passover as the Jewish people mourn the destruction of their Temple where Passover lambs were sacrificed. In our home and on our plates, a hard boiled egg serves as a reminder of the Lamb of God, sacrificed for our sins, defeating death forever and bringing new life.

It can't be mere coincidence that we received an email last night (the day after Easter Sunday) that we will be submitted to court in Ethiopia next week! We are closer to bringing two new lives into our home! So, we should know within the next three weeks when we'll be traveling to appear in court and meet our boys. Sigh... We are continuing to celebrate the truth and joy of Easter. Christ died and rose again for each of us and God wants all to know this. He has chosen our boys, and our family, for a new life. This is what He does for those who walk in faith and know truly who He is.



Do these little hands have any idea that God has been holding them since He was forming them in their mother's womb? Now I get to be Mom to them, and hold their hands, and bandage their scraped knees, sing to them at bedtime, wipe their tears, teach them English, and help them dye eggs next Easter. We get to tell them about the sacrifice Jesus made for them and how much He loves them!